Today

Today I sat with the Angels.
Their sweet words abide with me.
Something in my inside world
Ever threatens my balance,
Yet the angels have lifted my head up.
This is the importance of life.
To gain an understanding of people and things.
What a waste my life would be
 If I were perfect, but I lacked humility.
I  would lack empathy ,
With my poetry stale and dark.
There would be no love
Or depth of character
In my beating heart.
I would actually be far from perfect.

Only 10 Pounds Away

Wanted first class,
But all I could afford was second.
Dress too tight.
Slits on the sides too high.
Wish that I was better.
In better shape ,so these
Things wouldn't look so cheap.
In shape ,I mean thin,
But now I don't know
If it's worth the work
But than I see,
I see first class
And  I yearn for a better me.
First class,
Only 10 pounds away.

The Face of Emotional Abuse

It creeks it's ugly face across the door pain.
So hideous it must hide its face.
Some take it as a friend and in turn
it turns them into monsters.
Sometimes looks may be deceiving,
but when the screams come it
suffocates all freedom and leaves you
desperate, bruised, and alone.
Stop! Stop! Stop!

They Can See

Do you hear me kill the music at night?
I don't think that I would really notice.
I block out the one and take the other.
Why can't I intertwine the two?
To enjoy myself as a part of the music.
For some reason it hurts to standout.
I seem to bruise in all the wrong places.
Places where they can see.

Underwater

Sing to me when the storm is over,
for than I can hear you when the thunder is away.
Deep within the crevasses of my soul I feel you.
Your heart beating once more.
Born again as you walk into the water.
Too good for this crumbling ,feeble body,
But someday when you return I will be with you.
This beating will never wain, a gift from my father above.
You as a friend are a part of every strand, fibber, cell that completes me.
And the water..... has made us clean.

How Will My Children Be?

I lie awake and wonder, what is it to know that a child is a part of you?
When they come home from the hospital fresh and clean,
Or later from the prom drunk and rude.
How do you know that you have done a good job?
It's strange that I still feel like one of them yet  I'm old enough to have my own.
Little feet later can step on or follow after yours.
You cannot always tell a good parent from a good child.
Some were born for trouble, others never saw beyond an A.
The world is full of unprepared feeling people who wonder,
"How will my children be?"

Dreams and Nightmares

            Dreams sometimes come true.  Well, so do nightmares you never thought were there.  Always wanted a happy ending. I remember the thoughtless mind that I carried at my worst.  Only nightmares played back over and over the hate that  I never knew bothered me that I had collected.  All those people, desires, words of hate.  My dreams tall and small have blossomed for me and made me strong.  Never thought that I'd be a model or have so many dates, but than again I never thought I'd be so sick I couldn't finish college and would be single at 29.  Life has formed me into a form where nightmares and dreams make up my center.  I am one of the lucky ones.  Given time for myself.  To finish at my own time you could say.  To purge this anger.    I've held a dream that has made me feel pretty.  The talents of  Wife and Mother, that's what I want to work on next.