Not that we loved God, but that he loved us, so we could love his Son.

Please read!
John 1:6-13
6.We are of God; he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the Spirit of truth, and the Spirit of error. 7. Be loved,let us love one another: for love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God. 8. He that loveth not knoweth not God:for God is love. 9. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world ,that we might live through him. 10. Herein is love, not that we loved God , but that he loved us, we ought also to love one another 12 No man has seen God at any time (except them who believe) If we love one another God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. 13 Hereby know we that we dwell in him , and he in us, because he hath given us his spirit.
We can not be perfect in this life, but the Spirit of Christ is. At times the Holy Ghost touches others through us that makes us have a perfect love at that moment. 
I believe Children are a guide line to perfect love and why the Scriptures teach to be like them.

My House

Cement bricks,
I'll build my house,
So freshly painted,
Granting me such normalcy,
Discouraged , but glare doesn't rule,
So kind to remind me,
So I'll put on my apron,
And scrub that floor,
As long as you are by my side ,
Watching, proud

A Challenge and Blessing Not Taken For Granted (Here is an example of how a struggle, when meet with a change in attitude, can become something positive when shared.)

There is no easy way.  If I want to be thin for the rest of my life, I'll have to work at it, count calories, weigh myself from time to time, and avoid certain foods. For some people it's harder than others. It fluctuates with stress and situation. Sometimes, I am lucky and weight just falls off, while other times, unexplained pounds appear. I hate to admit this , but this is a life long struggle, but I am prepared to except it. It makes me sick to think of those sheets of paper with the calories written down of what I eat each day that I have made and will make, but I am the master of my body. I have never been obese, at my heaviest I was around 168 lb and although I have had "Heavy Times" they have come about because of healing from sickness, healing from smoking, or/and medication, and I have always lost the weight. I believe that I have control of my body (Most of the time), have proven myself, have educated myself about nutrition and emotional eating, and deserve health, and dare I say, it is even in my Glory to know how to care for my body and keep it healthy. I believe it is a part of our glory to have health and to be attractive. This will not be easy for me, but God has granted me with a healthy ,attractive body and I'm not going to take it for granted. 
  My Body is my temple and home for my Spirit.  It has symbolic meaning (most people don't see) and that has kept me pure.  I worship a God that is able to allow me to be the owner of such a creation.  It has little to do with weight, although Heath is important for everyone. God is granting me heavenly help.  Everyone has something beautiful to them.  The Lord blesses us as He pleases.  I have had times and days that I have been less attractive ,but as long as I stay teachable there is always hope.   God loves me and has helped me so that there has never been any craving or appetite that has been too hard for me to overcome with time.  There is healing through Jesus Christ.  Sometimes he reminds me of these things now and then and it keeps me reaching out ,to teach people the things that I have learned. By doing this, I have realized how much I love God and His Children!  In this way ,I have prepared myself to be a Mother Someday.  I know the scares will come ,but they will fade and in the next life I will have a perfect body and that fact and courage makes me Worthy and of Great Worth.   Even an Ex-Model.  Where my body is so important to my reputation.  I don't know if some of the people I know will be okay, but I'll feel blessed being a Mother when that time comes.  :)   

Seeing Stars in My Room

Seven day rest
Taken with water.
Be my night sky,
My stars ,my full moon.
Smelling the other rose.
Taping it dried on my Wall
And calling it Freedom.
Cheap trade for
A Starlit night
Is this burning Cocoon,
But tonight here I feel
You in this room.
Close to you I go,
Sweet Sky,
Sweet Rose,
Sweet Stars.
Where'er you go,
You are not far.
You seem to be here.

Bipolar- Here's to Freedom!

Say what you wish.
Haven't been a lier,
To have the world without paying a cent.
Have worked for every penny,
With Misery and Strife.
Brought smiles to the faces,
Who I'd share a little slice
Of my Heaven and a little bit of my Hell.
Scares them all when I say the whole darn truth.
Never going to fluff things up,
Never to make them seem what they aren't,
To be a pain if they were pure Heaven.
Trust in me my Friend,
I know something about Beauty
And I know something about Pain.
I surely have a combination.
Bipolar my whole life?!  psssssshhh....................
Freedom shall reign!

Know- A Priceless Message of Understanding Pain.

•  · 10 minutes ago
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  Shayla Smith

  No, I have never been raped by another person, but I have felt the pain many times. I actually used to have countless experiences of hallucinations that I could feel, but not see, something or someone that  was raping me many times a day when it was at it's worst. This went on about everyday and slowly tapered off ,but it took a very long time, like years for it to stop. I'm sure if it were an actual person who raped me it would be scarier, but being a sex victim to your own mind and some of it I think was coming from evil spirits was pretty scary too. 

  This is a Sentimental Tragedy. - Was it really rape? My mind created it , so doesn't it mean that I wanted it? No, God does not allow people to have cancer because it is what their mind wants them to have. I tried to stop the pain in many ways. I tried to kill myself a few times. God wanted me to live for him, not die for him at that time. So, that is why I share my feelings and story because I understand pain..... and healing. We all need people and I'm grateful to those who showed their kindness. They helped more than they might have known they could have ever done for someone in that situation at that time. This started happening 9 years ago.

   · 

They Can See

Do you hear me with the music at night?  I don't think that I would really notice.  Why would you?  I block out one and take the other.  Why can't I intertwine the two? To enjoy myself as a part of the music.  For some reason it hurts to stand out.  I seem to bruise in all the wrong places.  Places where they can see.