An Eternal Creation

Guns were loaded,
But I have forfeited the draw.
To be with you my Lord.
You are creation.
Outstretched are your arms,
Mild and at Peace,
And the World wants Peace.
I will do anything.
Say anything.
To go Back to thee
And I will become part
Of an eternal creation,
Mild and at peace.

Shayla, Work. It is Love. That Is So Important to You Now.

It's second nature to me now.
Fine they find.....Oh please!
Drink a Gallon of Water and
Was it down with me?
Here ,but so.
When So means love.
Music what an afterglow,
With it's Mindless Chatter
We don't play fair.
Told an offensive joke.
Forgot to be as meek as He.
Didn't go to the Gym.
...And all this shows.

Music Taught Me How to Listen to Peace

One of the greatest things about going through life is that I have learned to be silent ,and I mean have peace. I remember as a child thinking that I was always in thought and couldn't just be. I tried, but I was always thinking and distracted. Listening to mostly good music, listening to the Spirit , and prayer has taught me how important peace is and how to be reverent within myself. Even though I have not chosen music as a career ,as one of my voice teachers told me that I had a strong enough voice for long ago, it will always play an active role in my life. You hear stories of prodigies hearing music playing in their heads and they quickly write it down and construct masterpieces. I hear classical music and choirs singing at times. I cannot read or write music so I have not been able to write anything, but it serves its purpose. That God expects great things out of me.

The Best He Had Was Healing

      My Father Knew my Worth. 11 years ago one of my analysts, and ,my Dad's old boss wanted to put me into a "Hospital" as a permanent resident, because of my Bipolar Disorder and other illnesses. That would have destroyed me! My Father Knew this. He had faith in me. He never told me about how the Doctor wanted me in the Hospital until this morning! I've gotten a Priesthood Blessing almost everyday for most of that time. I have been working so hard! God has Done the Best with what he has had to work with. So have I. Believe it. I am so healthy now.  God is With me always.  I always wanted to feel Special and if to be Special took this ,It was worth it.  God never gave me a trial that was too tough.  I learned that Appearances can be fun, but what matters is the Spirit.  What leaves an impression in your heart ,not just what brings a thrill and makes you intimidating or enticing.  

An Offering Of Love

I thought we'd be at home together.
With a little Family safe and sound,
Broken Words come in the way.
Mistaken to be Lovers,
But I think of you now and long
To hear your voice,
To hold you and keep you warm
For that moment.
Each moment as priceless
As Gold , Frankincense, and Myrrh.
As an offering of love,
To not only us,
But to our Lord,
Who created the Earth, Heaven, Moon, and Stars
And this love was a part of it all.
I will never Forget you.

I remember when I was in my acting class my Professor called me boring. I guess I am sometimes. I mean after watching that video of me, I sound uninterested in what was going on, but my mind is working quickly and it is angry at her past rejections and misunderstandings, yet living for God and his word and love. I have a pure heart. I posted a video last week about Genius and found that Genius is borrowed and comes from a Heavenly source. Like this video I made where I say, "apple in a sack and such" I believe it came from the Administering Angels about me that I believe inspire me and as my spirituality grows the Angels about me are able to further enlighten me. They, and me, are making it so it so it will get people's attention. Tonight , at times I felt as light as a feather , that my yoke was taken from me. Sexual abuse is common in Eating Disorders and if I can talk about this in this way, with a pure heart, like a child, the others with sexual abuse and Eating Disorders will relate and seek help. Thank you. Like · · Share

"Because You Saw in Me a Pearl in a Grain of Sand"

White as wool,
Translucent as snow,
Soft as feathers,
Clear as crystal,
Are your words that pry open my shell.
Remove the annoyance of Sand that has become a treasure.
Precious and of worth.
But Who else should I offer it?
 I have not placed it.
I am not wholly its maker.
Without your patience
I would be cast aside.
I offer you my talent-
A Pearl of Great Price,
Because you saw in me a pearl ,in a grain of sand
In something seemingly ordinary like me.

Toast Ala'mode

Little Girl hides her lunch.
She made it  herself.
There's only an apple in a brown paper sack.
2 years, a bowl of her favorite ice cream.
Orange cream for her toast ala'mode.
Drinks a Diet Crush and calls it blood,
Washes it down,
Now it's okay to be full.
Does it with class.
Does it without hiding,
Because everyone deserves a little Toast Ala'mode,
To be done with class.
In the presents of strangers.

Does Perfection Grow With Love?

Sometimes I wonder," How much is it possible to love someone?" Is there an end to it? They talk about having a "perfect love", but perfection in thought to have an ending to it and love to expand. What if perfection were to grow like love is thought to, barring fruit, expanding ,and having to be maintained and worked on as the being goes ,always developing and maturing?  There are limits though to what a being can handle. Maybe having a "perfect love" means to love as much as your Spirit and Body can take. (That's why we have children to build something out of that love ,like a family as a reward. If we just put our attention into one person for a long time it may be good at first, but the relationship can be more full with friends, children ,and other family.)

        So... Yes, having a perfect love is to die for someone, just as Christ did, the greatest of all, a perfect lamb ,when he bled from every pore and later hung from the cross, because he loved us. Now because of what Christ did for us he understands all and his love is infinite. He is as his Heavenly Father and knows our struggles.   As we grow so do our relationships with him and his mercy from our sins and trials therefore making a fuller richer being, but the thing is, is that it was always there in the plan  salvation, it was always with him.  He was a God.  Somethings I think God can only understand, like is there a limit to love or perfection? 
                

I Looked an Angel Squarely in The Eyes

I'm not going to die because my Shirt is low?!
Are you?
Nose up in the air,
But I hate my nose ,
And so do You.
People who have never
Looked an Angel squarely in the eyes.
Afraid of the Shame of promises left unkept.
What? But you are not ashamed?
God made your life rich, but your heart
Broken.  He  knew we would still love.
Blessings, because of our love.
I promise,
Promises kept.
Even with the body of a woman.

Generosity

Grant me your poetic generosity,
Your fluid speech,
Your loving embrace.
You  give me my future, present, and past.
I will sleep and rest
While you sing my song.
Tell me if it's too forward, harsh, or rude
And I will do the same for you.
I love you!

Not that we loved God, but that he loved us, so we could love his Son.

Please read!
John 1:6-13
6.We are of God; he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the Spirit of truth, and the Spirit of error. 7. Be loved,let us love one another: for love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God. 8. He that loveth not knoweth not God:for God is love. 9. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world ,that we might live through him. 10. Herein is love, not that we loved God , but that he loved us, we ought also to love one another 12 No man has seen God at any time (except them who believe) If we love one another God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. 13 Hereby know we that we dwell in him , and he in us, because he hath given us his spirit.
We can not be perfect in this life, but the Spirit of Christ is. At times the Holy Ghost touches others through us that makes us have a perfect love at that moment. 
I believe Children are a guide line to perfect love and why the Scriptures teach to be like them.

My House

Cement bricks,
I'll build my house,
So freshly painted,
Granting me such normalcy,
Discouraged , but glare doesn't rule,
So kind to remind me,
So I'll put on my apron,
And scrub that floor,
As long as you are by my side ,
Watching, proud

A Challenge and Blessing Not Taken For Granted (Here is an example of how a struggle, when meet with a change in attitude, can become something positive when shared.)

There is no easy way.  If I want to be thin for the rest of my life, I'll have to work at it, count calories, weigh myself from time to time, and avoid certain foods. For some people it's harder than others. It fluctuates with stress and situation. Sometimes, I am lucky and weight just falls off, while other times, unexplained pounds appear. I hate to admit this , but this is a life long struggle, but I am prepared to except it. It makes me sick to think of those sheets of paper with the calories written down of what I eat each day that I have made and will make, but I am the master of my body. I have never been obese, at my heaviest I was around 168 lb and although I have had "Heavy Times" they have come about because of healing from sickness, healing from smoking, or/and medication, and I have always lost the weight. I believe that I have control of my body (Most of the time), have proven myself, have educated myself about nutrition and emotional eating, and deserve health, and dare I say, it is even in my Glory to know how to care for my body and keep it healthy. I believe it is a part of our glory to have health and to be attractive. This will not be easy for me, but God has granted me with a healthy ,attractive body and I'm not going to take it for granted. 
  My Body is my temple and home for my Spirit.  It has symbolic meaning (most people don't see) and that has kept me pure.  I worship a God that is able to allow me to be the owner of such a creation.  It has little to do with weight, although Heath is important for everyone. God is granting me heavenly help.  Everyone has something beautiful to them.  The Lord blesses us as He pleases.  I have had times and days that I have been less attractive ,but as long as I stay teachable there is always hope.   God loves me and has helped me so that there has never been any craving or appetite that has been too hard for me to overcome with time.  There is healing through Jesus Christ.  Sometimes he reminds me of these things now and then and it keeps me reaching out ,to teach people the things that I have learned. By doing this, I have realized how much I love God and His Children!  In this way ,I have prepared myself to be a Mother Someday.  I know the scares will come ,but they will fade and in the next life I will have a perfect body and that fact and courage makes me Worthy and of Great Worth.   Even an Ex-Model.  Where my body is so important to my reputation.  I don't know if some of the people I know will be okay, but I'll feel blessed being a Mother when that time comes.  :)   

Seeing Stars in My Room

Seven day rest
Taken with water.
Be my night sky,
My stars ,my full moon.
Smelling the other rose.
Taping it dried on my Wall
And calling it Freedom.
Cheap trade for
A Starlit night
Is this burning Cocoon,
But tonight here I feel
You in this room.
Close to you I go,
Sweet Sky,
Sweet Rose,
Sweet Stars.
Where'er you go,
You are not far.
You seem to be here.